Another Five Years Is All She Wanted

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This is a picture taken the last time my mother-in-law (Nan) visited my family home. It was a long time ago, as you can see. I dig my mom jeans, don’t you? Seriously, I loved them. The waste-band was high and comfy, not like what we wear today.

There was a lot of history, good and not so good, between this picture and where Nan and I stood in our relationship before she passed away. I talked with her over the phone quite often. I try not to hold on to guilt about not seeing Nan enough through the years because it’s wasted energy. It wasn’t anything personal against her. I was MIA all those years to almost everyone in my life, extended family and friends, too. Chronic illness has a way of taking joy out of the simple pleasures.
 
Our conversations at the end of Nan’s life were much deeper than they usually were. We talked about death and dying sometimes, but most of the time we talked about life and living. She wanted to do life, “I want to live for at least another five years” she’d say. I’d encourage her to believe it to be true, that she could go on living, despite her liver cancer in its advanced stages. Another five years, that’s all she wanted.
 
Unfortunately, she lost her battle with liver cancer before she had a chance to live another five years.
 

The Good News is she’s finally, really, and truly living life. Here’s more Good News—so am I. I feel high and comfy, kind of like my mom jeans. haha!

I love you, Nan. Thanks for the conversation and what you taught me, especially how to cook Italian. 

One more thing…happy, happy birthday to YOU, Nan! ♥

Hugs from the Heart,

sandra

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